Let’s say you have it all. You have looks, smarts, a great career and a wonderful sense of humor. Guys are intrigued by you for sure. Everyone that knows you thinks the world of you!
There’s just one problem. When you’re around your crush, your heart melts a little bit and you start to feel self-conscious.
Maybe you’re naturally self-conscious around other people. Maybe you’re never going to be as movie star-like as Marilyn Monroe. But guess what? You don’t have to be. You don’t have to fake it or pretend to be someone you’re not.
Instead, read over these lessons to learn how to project confidence naturally.
1. Dress in an attractive manner and take pride in your appearance.
Put on something that you like, feel comfortable in, and that others compliment you on. Stand up straight and tall and look men in the eye when you talk to them. This immediately establishes you as a confident woman. Avoid the urge to look away or giggle like a schoolgirl. Show respect to a man (and to yourself) by engaging him in conversation. When you feel attractive, men will sense this about you and will feel attracted.
2. Only talk about positive, humorous and fun things.
If you have the tendency to be negative (about others or about yourself) turn this voice off! Be positive about everyone. Accept a compliment. Always let your man know that you’re having fun talking to him, and that you enjoy a good laugh. (But again, avoid laughing at every single statement) Be careful not to make fun of the guy you’re talking to…instead, find things in common and share your sense of humor.
3. Don’t challenge a man’s ego. Instead, challenge him to “chase you.”
Men do NOT like women that fight them, insult them or condescend to them like a teacher in high school. On the other hand, they do enjoy a woman who is fun, flirty but he plays a little hard to get. This dynamic makes them irresistibly attracted to you, because they sense that you like them…but that you’re a little hard to impress. They want to work for it!
4. Don’t be afraid to study female role models who had a certain look and style you like.
If you admire a celebrity, artist, politicians or some other well known person then it might help to adopt some of their characteristics…at least in the beginning.
I don’t believe it’s wise to “become” that person for the rest of your life, obviously. But if you just need a little push to get started in talking to attractive men, it may help to dress like your favorite person and mimic their style. Eventually, you will adopt your own style and that will be the most attractive persona!
5. Learn about your crush’s hobbies, ambitions or career interests.
While it’s a good thing to be well read and keep up with the news, an even better way to impress your crush is to research some of the things he likes. You don’t have to outdo him in knowledge! Just keep up with him. Research some of the names, dates and significant events in his favorite subject. He will very impressed that you took an interest.
6. Be an excellent listener.
Far too many attractive women fail the listening test. They may “hear him” when he speaks, but they tend to nod and not give him any real emotion. They don’t ask questions. They basically send him a message of disinterest. Become more confident by focusing less attention on what you say, and more attention on what he’s saying.
7. If you’re nervous about hitting a lull in the conversation, plan ahead.
It’s okay to rehearse—though you should think more about notes rather than memorizing a script. Decide in advance what stories you want to share (humorous, interesting, moral of the story, adventure, etc.) and pull one out if there’s a long pause in the conversation. If you’re worried about sounding silly, then avoid certain topics that might make you feel self-conscious. Stick to subjects you both enjoy.
8. Talk to more men in general.
If you get self-conscious around most guys, then don’t just limit yourself to your crush. Talk to more men so you can learn to relax in their presence over time. You’re obviously not going to be attracted to every man you meet. Take advantage of this and learn how to talk to people that don’t make you nervous, so that you can better practice with men that do. Consider these low-pressure rehearsals for more interesting conversations you’ll have later on with your real crush.
9. Let HIM chase YOU!
It’s natural for a woman to feel nervous if she’s shamelessly pursuing a man. And believe me, he notices! He might be flattered…or he might be creeped out. So play it safe and encourage HIM to chase you. This means that while you do like him, you don’t respond to everything he says…you make him work a little bit for your full attention. Aim to be a little more reserved than him, so that he feels the pressure to make conversation instead of you. Reward him with a laugh or with more questions, after he tries to keep the conversation going.
10. Dress for men everywhere. Look and feel sexy.
Always remember: He wants you. Even if it’s not true, just being aware of all the men who are looking at you and wondering about you will help you increase your confidence. Better yet, it will increase their motivation to “compete” for your attention. Sometimes taking the more subtle approach and glancing at a man, daring him to come over, is the better way to convey interest—and it also gives you a great confidence boost!
Practice makes perfect so aim to talk to more people and when in doubt, remember:
Be nice. Be mysterious. Be hard to impress but easy to chat with. Men will always find you the most interesting woman in the room.